teenage boys' problems and how to deal with them
In general, boys, especially in adolescence, have a significantly elevated sense of ego, and a tendency to independence, leadership, and adoption of different opinions and orientations from the family, and they may have a greater tendency to conflict and conflict with their parents.
Understanding the nature of adolescents and that their actions and attitudes are the result of the physiological changes and emotional turmoil they are going through, paves the way for parents to how to deal with them, and saves them a lot of the daily suffering they go through with them. In order to understand how to deal with male adolescents, it is necessary, of course, first to know the hormonal, psychological, emotional and physical changes that your teenager is going through, as these changes control almost completely the behavior and behavior of the adolescent, especially during puberty to ensure the proper treatment of this teenager in this sensitive and important period.
The most important steps to be effective in dealing with the adolescent:
1. Setting Boundaries First Parents must agree with their teenage son on a set of ground rules based on shared values and principles, maintaining harmony with the family, and staying safe from dangers.
2. Agree on the consequences It is important for parents and children to agree on the consequences that will occur when violating the rules that have been agreed upon before, but it is important to respect age at that point, for example the punishment may be the ban on driving a car or going out with friends.
3. Self-reliance in fixing mistakes. There is an important method that can be resorted to with teenagers known as recovery or response, and it means that the son is responsible for the mistake he made and he must fix it himself, such as bearing the money of a ticket or something he booked without the prior knowledge of the parents, and he must also take steps to repair the relationship with his brothers After a fight, this helps to gain the trust of those around him.
4. Avoid cruelty in dealing. Cruel or humiliating punishment makes matters worse with your teenage son. Severe beating or imprisonment, for example, serves as a green light for children to do more mistakes, and even disasters out of stubbornness and revenge after feeling insulted and resentful, and it also causes an increase in the gap between father and son.
Teenage boys problems:
When we talk about teenage problems, parents often refer to reckless behavior or inappropriate style, but in addition to that, there are a number of serious problems that a teenager may go through at this age, most of which are due to a tendency to adventure, and they include the following:
Smoking or drug abuse.
Undisciplined relationships and bad friends.
- Experiment with alcohol.
Dangerous and violent behaviors such as reckless driving, testing weapons, or engaging in unsafe activities.
Depression and possibly suicidal ideation.
What should the guardian do if he discovers that his teenage child is engaging in one of these harmful practices????
Your action in this matter should be divided into three stages:
1. Pre-confrontation stage:
Before you decide that it's a good time to let your teen know that you're aware of his behavior, it might be best to get him to admit it if you've created a safe space between the two of you.
Talk frequently and in different and multiple situations and times about the danger of this bad habit, and its negative effects in the short and long term. This can happen during dinner by talking about an article or video from a trusted site or the experience of a friend or relative, for example.
Focus on the negative effects that concern your teenage child in particular: health, money, social life...
2. Follow-up phase:
Continue to follow up with your children after the confrontation.
Praise the progress that is taking place, show understanding of the difficulties that the adolescent child is going through and support him, and after the situation has passed, discuss it and ask him about the lessons learned from it.
Educate your teenage child and provide him with information from a reliable source.
3. The confrontation stage:
The confrontation may occur either through you, or in order to avoid emotion, through a close person who loves and relates to your teenage child.
If you choose another person, make sure that he is someone you trust, that your children will listen to, and that he will not be violent or critical. Agree on what he will say and possible scenarios for your teen's reaction and how to deal with it.
It should be clear to your teen that you will not allow this unhealthy practice to continue, yet you will do everything in your power to overcome this together, because you love and support him unconditionally.
- Involve the teenage child in developing a realistic plan that you both agree on to stop this unhealthy practice, and agree with him on the consequences of not adhering to this plan.
If this unhealthy habit poses a threat to your children (such as drug abuse), consult a specialist immediately.
- Establish fear and observance of God and raise the degree of his faith near God, religious scruple is the shield that protects us and our children from these deviations.
The teenager and the study: his refusal to review and study:
A child in adolescence does not study enough and sometimes refrains from reviewing his lessons, what should you do?
be realistic:
It must be admitted that as much as intelligence is a skill, diligence is a different skill that may not be among the skills that your children possess. We should always support our children to reach the best of their potential, but sometimes we have to accept that this is the best they can do, that we need to stop putting pressure on them to study and instead explore their talents in other areas such as the arts and sports to try to find out What they are distinguished by.
Show understanding:
Show your teen that you understand that it's hard for him to sit still for long periods of time studying something he doesn't like, and that you appreciate that he does this to make you happy and to have more time to play later.
Ask for help from the doctor:
Some children may have disorders that interfere with their ability to learn and study, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). If your child's academic performance is severely affected by the lack of concentration, consult a doctor.
Put the rules together:
Start by asking him what you can do to help him focus better and feel comfortable studying.
Listen to him and reach an agreement in which both of you commit to something.
Agree on consequences together means that you make him choose the consequences (not punishment) of not adhering to the rules you agreed upon together.
Think outside the box:
If your son is having trouble or difficulty with a particular subject, try to use some creativity in connecting what he is studying with something he likes. For example: if he loves sports and hates math and arithmetic, try using math to explain a concept about sports like tournaments and points counting.
To communicate with male adolescents, it is known that teenage boys have poor communication skills, especially with family, and the solution is not to be ignored or neglected.
The most important tips that can take control of matters with your teenage son:
Avoiding procrastination in speaking and making things short and simple.
Do not exaggerate eye contact more than speech, this may cause confusion and inattention to talk, especially when talking about a problem that your son has.
It is better to talk with doing something else, such as talking while taking a walk, walking together, or eating.
- Maintain a good amount of calm and avoid emotion and do not make him the master of the situation.
Give your son enough time to implement what was discussed with him. Do not be disappointed if you do not find immediate results. The teenager may need days to think about and study these matters.
- Instill in him the love of goodness, righteousness, success and the desire to be better, but in a correct and proper way, for you and your children. Try with them and never despair of reforming them, as they are still children.