Your intense fear for your child harms him and reduces his chances of independence and success in his life
Helicopter parents are a term given by psychologists to parents who monitor their young at every minute, and intervene in every moment of their young's life. They hunt for mistakes, observe every whisper, every facial expression, and every resentment. They over-correct wrong behaviors and never stop criticizing.
They never let the child choose or do something on his own, so he becomes entrenched in him and grows with him a feeling of helplessness telling him that he cannot do anything alone without his parents, and that he will inevitably make mistakes and spoil the matter, so his parents get angry with him as it happens all the time.
A child grows up extremely weak and hypersensitive, lacks self-confidence, always needs someone to lead him and someone to tell him the next step, does not try something new and does not make decisions, and he cannot form relationships, he is simply not fully qualified to go through life alone.
So always remember that a lot of attention, and if it is love, then it is fatal. If it exceeds its limit, it becomes corrupt. If something exceeds its limit, it turns into its opposite.
Our role is not to protect our children from life, but our role is to teach them how to live it, how to face it without fear, how to win after defeat, and how to succeed after failure, how to heal wounds, and how to end pain so that God grants us healing.
Of course, this does not mean neglecting them or leaving them to face destruction. Rather, what is required is balance, self-awareness, and certainty that they are human beings, and humans make mistakes and get hit, and he has to make mistakes in order to know how to hit.
What should we apply in order to raise a balance??
Excessive worry about the future of the teenage child does not help you to deal with him well, so learn to calm down and do not convey your concern to your son, as the person may change in an instant.
Assign tasks to your children.
Ask them what they think and listen softly.
They held them responsible for what was in the house and taught them how to do it, then they were satisfied with observing.
- Take them with you to markets and visits.
- Tell them what are the social limits and what are the religious prohibitions.
- Tell them a lot of stories.
- Be proud of their accomplishments.
- Do not exaggerate the punishment, and do not punish each mistake.
- Do not hunt for mistakes and do not criticize them, but rather direct their attention to the right behavior.
- They develop a vigilant conscience, observing God, and observing oneself, which is what lasts.
- Preventing the child from practicing something he loves out of fear for him, which most likely pushes him to practice it away from the eyes of his parents, so be keen on dialogue and allowing experiment and discovery instead of deprivation.
- Give him a part of the freedom in his actions, even if he makes a mistake, let him complete it and see its result (and you are observing him) and when he finishes, talk to him about the action and the result.
His feeling that you are with him always and always support him in everything and there is no reason to be afraid of anything at all, no matter what, the feeling of reassurance is important for young people as it is important for adults, but do not do tasks that he must do, return to self-reliance and independence little by little.
Enjoy your children when they are young, the days will pass quickly, and you will have nothing left of their innocence and their childhood except for the memories of their players. Laugh with them, joke them, go out with them, be like children among them, and make education and literature with fun and play. Your preoccupation with your son in his youth will make him turn to those who listen to him outside the walls of the family, and they are often a disaster for him.