Building a strong relationship with the child increases his sense of security:
Very important rules for building a relationship and charging my child's sense of safety
Among the most important feelings that we must strive to feel for our children is their sense of safety. In recent years, some educational philosophies have appeared that advise parents to communicate and bond with their children from birth in an intimate manner and to communicate with their psychological and emotional needs, and this makes them feel comfortable and reassured as it strengthens the relationship with their parents properly and correctly. A child who enjoys intimate contact with his parents can better deal with his fears and anxieties throughout his different periods of development and at all stages of his life.
How can I win the heart of my children??
Dealing with young people from a standpoint of strength and control is what destroys the most positive relationship between young people and their parents, because life at that time turns into a war of power and a power struggle, each side trying to prove that it is stronger and can control more. While mercy, tenderness and affection open locked locks and soften iron..
Therefore, in order for your children to win, treat them as friends who are equal in status, strength, rights and duties. You must also care about their feelings, take their opinion, play with them, have fun with them, laugh together and talk a lot.
You will discover at one time that the crucial matters in which you have to use your parental authority and firmness, that they accept that with consent, and receive your words with love, calm and contentment, and they hear your words, even if they are not convinced. That's because your balance in their hearts allows for that and more.
The most important multiple benefits of intimate contact with children:
At the behavior level:
The child feels safe, mutual trust and independence and learns the correct ways in which he treats others and his behaviors better, he grows up understanding and listening more to his parents.
On the social level:
Be sociable, cooperative, understanding and sympathetic, and these are among the important values that need us time to inculcate in the child's mind, unless they are from his early childhood.
He also does not find it difficult to deal well with different ages and helps, participates, benefits and influences.
Has a passion for learning, enthusiastic and flexible, has high self-esteem and is confident in himself and his abilities.
On an emotional level:
A child is able to understand and express his feelings, and this helps him to understand and accept the feelings of others.
He has a heightened sense of right and wrong over his years, and is morally sophisticated.
How should we communicate with our children to make them feel safe??
Early Communication Habits:
Do you listen to the problems of your little child in kindergarten or with his friends, even if you have tasks that are more important than that?! He is more likely to turn to you and tell you his problems when he is a teenager because he knows that you are always there and can listen to him whenever he needs it, so you should make your time with your children a priority and allocate time for him daily.
Having confidence:
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship and starts right from birth when your baby learns that you care for him and hold him when he cries and needs you. Children's trust in their parents depends on how well parents meet their psychological, emotional and also physical needs, and over time we gain our children's trust in different ways, such as by keeping promises.
Encouragement:
There is a famous saying by Rudolph Druckers: Encouragement to children is like water to a plant. Imagine your child as a plant that grows and thrives naturally. If you see this plant wilt and its leaves turn brown, you are thinking if it needs more light, water, etc. But you do not criticize him or yell at him so that he grows well and does not wither. Children form their own view of themselves, the adults around them, and the world. They need your encouragement to see themselves as good people who can do the right and good things, and they need to feel that you are by their side. But if most of what you tell them is correcting their actions or criticizing them, they will not feel that they are a good person.
Mutual respect:
Respect should be mutual and not limited to children only, as he respects you you must respect him. Although this is a basic principle, we forget it with our children sometimes. You can and should set boundaries, but if you set them with respect and empathy, your child will learn to treat others with respect and accept only respect from others.
Take care of the safety of daily interactions:
You don't have to take special actions to build a relationship with your child. The good news here and the bad news is that every daily interaction affects the relationship between the two of you. Shopping, bedtime, tantrums, sibling fights, he doesn't want to share his game or do his homework or sleep: dealing with him in all these daily challenges is the cornerstone of your lasting relationship later and also provides him with a model of how relationships are.
7. Don't take things personally.
If your teen slams the door, or your 10-year-old says, "Mom, you never understand me," or your four-year-old says, "Dad, I don't love you." Always remember not to take these behaviors personally, as the matter does not belong to you as a parent, but rather to them. They have many conflicting feelings within them and they find it difficult to control themselves due to age and their immaturity in their ability to understand and express feelings in the correct and understandable manner.
If you are in a situation like this, we advise you to:
Calm down and take a deep breath.
Remind yourself that your child does love you, but is under the pressure of anger at that moment.
Avoid yelling and lower your voice.
Try to remember how you felt as an angry child.
Try to think of how to respond empathetically and constructively.
What you have to do in those times is to act with empathy and love rather than anger, even as you set boundaries.
Resist your urge to punish:
Remember that what is above here is the interest of the child, and also remember that your goal is to build a solid relationship, adjust behavior, and fix a specific situation related to your liver. Imagine how you feel about someone who hurts you, threatens you, or insults you? Children need your guidance but punishment destroys your relationship and worsens the child's misbehavior.