The mistakes and behaviors of our children

children mistakes


When do we consider the child’s mistake a problem that needs treatment??


 There is no doubt that mistakes happen all the time because we are human beings. We have to accept that. Therefore, we have to accept the mistakes of our children and teach them how to fix the mistake instead of blaming them, so they blame themselves later, and they fall into the same trap that we strive to escape from all the time, the trap of idealism and self-blame. . Similarly, a distinction must be made while it is a mistake that naturally occurs, and while it is harmful behavior, it is considered a problem and needs treatment by male and specialized people.


 A very simple and practical example:

When we hold the mug we know we must not tilt it or it will spill. How do we know that? The simple answer.. We've tried it before, the complex answer. We know that there is "gravity," and that by tilting the cup we are letting the liquid spill and fall to the ground under gravity. The result. We have to hold the cup well so it doesn't spill How long did it take us to know that.. 18 years or more, so ignorance is the cause of mistakes?


 Perhaps.. But.. Here we are, with our long experience, experiences, and ages. Does the cup never spill out of us? No, sometimes it spills against our will, mistakes happen all the time. We conclude from this that knowledge is also not sufficient to prevent errors.

 

 What is normal for us is unknown to them, that simple intuitive information that we think we know by instinct, we learned it by experience and experience, and we have come a long way from our life to become normal and self-evident to us.


 That phrase that we shout in anger all the time for every mistake they make does not make sense at all. Be kind to yourself to be kind to your children.


What happens to our children when we punish them wrongly?

 1- Resentment:

 An idea is formed in his mind that adults are different from those of his age and that they are not good and ruthless, and he says to himself that this is unfair and I will not trust adults.

2- Revenge:

He says to himself they beat me now but I will win after that.

3. Rebellion:

He says to himself I will only go in the opposite direction until I prove to them my ability.

4. Dribbling:

He will think more of bigger tricks to tire them out and say to himself no one will catch me next time.

 5. Regression of self-esteem:

He says to himself that I am a bad person who cannot act alone, and my father and mother do not like me when I sin.


How much time do we need for our child to get rid of his bad habits that we contributed to building in his diary and behavior??


Bad habits do not need a long time for the child to get used to them, for example, he may try crying to pressure the adults around him to meet his requests, and if they fulfill his request to be silent, he will repeat the experience with every request they reject him, and he will stick to this bad behavior and make it a habit of his daily habits.

And to get rid of the child’s bad habits that may have been built in a short time, we need a long time because he will not leave them as long as he has tried them with you and benefited him, so we must be patient with him until he changes.


We must try all the methods that may work and convince him and get him used to the new habits:

For example, we may ignore his constant crying.

If he doesn't stop, we might try threatening him with punishment.

We may try to occupy him with something other than what he cries for.

We may punish him by depriving him of something he loves. The important thing is that you do not expect quick change from him.


And remember that you are responsible for changing it for the better, and that with every suffering there is a reward that is matched, so why not be patient and try and try until we succeed.


When do we consider a child's behavior a problem that needs treatment??

Parents may resort to requesting urgent psychological counseling for their child’s behavior and believe that their child’s behavior is abnormal, either because they are ignorant of the nature of the child’s growth or because of the intense concern for the child’s safety and for fear of diseases and psychological disorders. The child's behavior may be normal and normal depending on the stage he is going through, so it is very important to know when your son's behavior is normal or satisfactory??


 A child's behavior is a problem that requires treatment when you notice the following:

 Repeat problem:

This behavior, which you think is abnormal, must be repeated more than once. The appearance of abnormal behavior once, twice, or three times does not indicate a problem with the child. Why?? Because it may be an accidental behavior that disappears automatically or with the effort of the child or his parents, with a simple guidance.


This behavior hinders the child’s physical, psychological and social development:

When this behavior affects the progress of the child's development and leads to a difference in his behavior and feelings from the behavior and feelings of those of his age.


That the problem reduces the efficiency of the child:

Especially in academic achievement and in gaining experience, and this problem hinders him from education.


When this problem prevents a child from enjoying life:

 With himself and with others, it leads to a feeling of depression and weakness in his ability to form good relationships with his parents, siblings, friends and teachers.

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