The stubborn child and the importance of wisdom in dealing with him: the most important tips and directions to contain the stubborn child and deal with him well
We often notice that mothers reach the stage of hitting their children only because he is stubborn and wants to do what he likes and does not hear the words. The mother becomes intolerant and even loses her nerve from this behavior and does not calm down until after he is beaten.
Beware of this reaction of every mother, for stubbornness is an important stage like the rest of the important stages in a child's life, and stubbornness is a positive thing, yes positive, and the child here wants to tell us that he has an independent personality and that he has requests and needs. We must know that the more stubborn the child is when he is young, the more independent he is when he grows up, but the problem here is with the mother who considers the matter a battle between her and her child and feels that he is targeting her in the first place... while the child exercises his natural right to growth and development. Stubbornness is an important stage in the life of any child, such as teething, walking and other important stages. Etc.. You can suppress his tongue from speaking, but you will not be able to suppress his body from expressing in other ways.
And here, stubbornness turns from a stage to a trait that you will suffer a lot from after that, and stubbornness usually starts from a year and a half and disappears when it reaches about 3 years if it is dealt with correctly, and returns again at the age of 5 years, but in a different way. When you ask him to do anything, he will ask you Direct: Why?? And if you tell him not to do it, he will also ask you: Why?? And we will find the child wants to understand all things and often asks why? Why? Why? And here, unfortunately, some mothers get bored and meet the child’s stubbornness with nervousness and consider that he is stubborn and does not hear her words at all..
Stubbornness decreases at the age of 6 and returns again at the age of 9 and is a prelude to adolescence.
So how do I deal with a stubborn child??
A practical example in order to understand the topic: We assume that the child wants to open the closet and explore it, and you told him no so as not to spoil the organization and arrangement of clothes and so that you do not re-organize them again. And the child instinctively should explore and go to the closet again, and here exactly the problem comes. You will consider him daring and disobeying your orders, and soon you will become intolerant and say to him firmly: Did I not tell you no?? He looks at you innocently in the eyes, laughing until you change your mind.. He does not mean to challenge you, for the child is more innocent than these misconceptions.
It was better for you to open the closet and let him discover and see the clothes in front of you. Your anger and nervousness hurt your stubborn child, who is not evil.
Please hold your nerve and leave him for a while and then return to him calmly and always remember that when you use the beating method with him, you destroy his personality and make him more stubborn. The child does not need control and nervousness in his upbringing, but he needs intelligence and wisdom in dealing.
For example, instead of telling him eat and he answers you with no, it is better to tell him you will eat rice or pasta and therefore there is no word in his answer. Even in his clothes, for example, the shirt that you do not like, you delete it from his closet completely and bring in front of him the clothes that are allowed by you and make him choose between your options.. Thus, you will win and he will win without nervousness and without stubbornness.
The first two years of a child’s life may not be punished at all. If he does something good, praise him so that he knows the right thing he has done and persists in it. If he makes a mistake, it is enough to frown at him. This is enough for him to understand.. Then go back and tell him stories and continue your lives, and your role should not be limited to Giving orders with silence, prohibition, refusal, and and.. You are not raising a pet that must obey all your commands and requests. It is a human being.. In the end, do not forget that your child imitates you.
My dear sister, it is not the child who is stubborn, you are the one who is stubborn, he lives his stage with all spontaneity, you are the one who starts rejecting, for example, he responds to you, did you not notice that you started talking, the first word came from you and the response was from him, and the nervousness started from you and the child responded to it until it sometimes reached a quarrel. Yes, the beginning was from you, do not forget your child imitating you.
Have patience, peace of mind and wisdom so that you can contain your child and get closer to his point of view, and you must understand that the child has a personality and an entity. See what the child sees and appreciate it and understand it.
Your child is a trust from the Lord of the universe and you will be held accountable for it. Do not take out your frustration and do not pour your anger into it. It has nothing to do with your anger and all the pressures you are exposed to and makes you in this situation. He is not aware of our circumstances and does not understand our lives. Do not ask those around you to appreciate your circumstances, psychology and nerves while you do not appreciate the needs The closest person and the person most in need of you and does not see the world without you.
The views differ between you and the extent of your vision is never comparable. For example, what you see as playing with dirt and mud is dirt, germs and harmful to him, especially if he is wet and will harm him and he will get sick. He is absolutely the opposite of you. And no matter how much you slander these things, he does not understand what you are saying, and he will continue to do what he likes, and his last concerns are getting his clothes dirty and not causing chaos.